For most people, a divorce isn’t just difficult, it is also the blow of a lifetime and there is nothing that can truly prepare you for it. Anger, depression, confusion and frustration are only a few emotions you will be feeling in this period, but you have to get it together and fight for your rights and your children’s rights. Here are a few things, which can help you with the process.
Whether you are the one initiating the divorce, or not, there are a few legal things you should consider. You have to make smart decisions about your divorce, and this means that you have to be very well informed. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, and try to understand what negotiation, mediation, litigation and collaborative family law means. Your advocate should make things clear for you in this matter. The subject of family law has always been a sensitive one, and this is why you should choose your lawyer carefully. You will need someone who can relate to your situation and who will do anything in his or her power to help you deal with the problem.
There are many things that can happen during a divorce. If you are afraid that you might go to court, you can relax, because very few cases end up in a court hearing. The majority of divorce cases are undefended, and once the papers are filled both parties come to an agreement. This is good news because court hearings are extremely expensive, and in this fragile state you don’t need to stand in a box and talk about your personal situation. Family Law solicitors in London explains that although almost every stage of a divorce happens on paper, you should always voice your opinion.
The Law is Neutral
Forget about the things you see in movies, family law does not favour women, or men. It is neutral. In others words you will have to come with viable proof if you want to gain certain advantages. Moreover, the fact that the man pays maintenance for the women happens because men usually win more than women, but in the case that the woman is the breadwinner, she will have to help her former partner with money. As far as children are concerned, they are usually entrusted to the parent who can better care for them.
How to survive a divorce emotionally
Divorces are traumatic and they can lead to depression, but there are ways to limit these effects. First of all you have to realise when the marriage has stopped working and understand that you have to stop hurting each other, for the sake of yourselves and your children. Secondly, it is only after the divorce that the true healing process begins. You are turning a new page in your life, and this means that you shouldn’t continue grieving. Rebuilding your social status and re-establishing your identity will help you forget about the turmoil that you’ve been through, and the support of family and friends can prove to be invaluable.
In conclusion, the best way to minimize the stress of a divorce is to realise that no marriage is better than a bad marriage, and that the needs of your children are above yours. Believe us when we say that becoming part of all the fights isn’t better than spending quality time with each parent separately. Divorces have become so common, that the children of today have come to the understanding that at some point, their parents don’t love each other anymore, so you shouldn’t beat yourself up about this matter. Last but not least, avoid conflicts and try to rebuild your life.
This is a guest contribution by Roxana.
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